N.U.M.B

LOSING someone...
is this how it feels like???

its VERY difficult to describe my feeling...
i know i'm sad...i am supposed to BE sad.
its just that, i feel empty...
i feel NUMB...
i just feel numb.
and, once in a while, in between the numbness, my tears just won't stop dropping like crazy...even when i'm doing nothing (especially when i was doing nothing + alone)... i tried to pull myself together (i really tried), but i keep on losing it. its like i have no control over my mind nowadays.

i used to hate people who cry over nothing...
i hate people who cry over movies...
i hate people who can just cry over silly things...
sorry to admit that.. I have become THAT person.

i always marvel my friends who have lost their loved ones...how do they cope???
why do they look ok??? Didn't they have a hard time letting go??? why everything seems easy for others??? and why it's d*** difficult for me???

now, i have no control over my tears.
they just flow whenever they feel like it.
and there's nothing i can do to stop it.
i have become THAT person who cries over nothing...
i can even cry watching funny cartoons...
how silly that may sound to you people out there...
BUT
that's ME...for NOW